Tarrying, Phoenix to Boston

Photos are of the Elmwood Historic Cemetery, Memphis

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Only when we tarry do we touch the holy. -Rilke

I saw an old, dead-tree skeleton yesterday walking from Sedona to the Village that I've previously not noticed. He was magnificent, taller than the others, his bones exposed to the elements slowly decomposing into his soil as he cultivated new life around him. I wondered what he looked like when he was dressed in gently whipping leaves, visited by birds and other creatures. He reminded me of Jack and the Beanstalk, his narrowing peak indiscernible from the sky.

One of the things I noticed about my life is that when I take my time, I experience so much more, learn so much, and have more opportunities to really connect with others.

For example, when I walk, I am much more aware than when I bike. When I bike, I take in much more than when I drive. And there's hardly a comparison between driving and flying.

Sure, it's faster but...

On April 1st, I left for a lecture tour that would take me from Phoenix to Boston, and 17 states between, in less than 10 days. That's right. Ten days, driving across the country, 48 hours each direction.

You know, those 2 am stops at Flying Js and mini-marts and Circle Ks bring unlikely people together. Surprisingly, at least eight of my conversations, while paying for badly blanched cashews and Dasani, went something like this:

"Where ya headed today?

"Oh, I have lots of stops. Texas, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, Boston..."

"Vacation?"

"Not really," smiling.

Followed by cashier's inquisitive gaze.

"I'm teaching."

"Oh really? About what?"

I learned about the death of his niece to suicide last year. His sister "isn't doing well" and he was worried about her.

And another person in Charleston whose premature baby died 23 years ago. He still visits the cemetery on his birthday. And another in Lebanon whose wife died of cancer, and he took her home calling his farewell time a "gift". Still another in Valley Falls whose partner was killed in a car accident. He was thankful that the last thing they said to each other was "I love you."

And there were more, some of whom said they hadn't spoken to anyone about their grief.

One became tearful. So did I.

Lives lost, stories untold became lives remembered and stories heard, even if for a moment. And I was thankful that I tarried.

Stillbirths: The Invisible Public Health Problem

Contact: Kathy Sandler, MSW, 480 861 7511 (mobile), kathy.sandler@missfoundation.org

Stillbirths: The Invisible Public Health Problem

New estimates place annual global toll at 2.6 million stillbirths

“The time has come for this public health problem to be recognized…”

Some 2.6 million third trimester stillbirths worldwide occur every year, according to the first comprehensive set of stillbirth estimates, published today within a special series prompted by the World Health Organization in the medical journal The Lancet.

Every day more than 7,300 babies are born dead. A death occurs just when parents expect to welcome a new life. “The death of a baby to stillbirth is devastating to families, and we haven’t done enough, historically, to understand its etiology,” says Joanne Cacciatore, PhD, Assistant Professor and researcher on the psychological effects of stillbirth at Arizona State University and President and Founder of the MISS Foundation, an international organization that cares for families facing infant and child death. Kathy Sandler, MSW, Executive Director for the MISS Foundation notes that “the MISS Foundation understands first-hand how traumatic the death of a baby is for families… we’ve been spearheading efforts to pass legislation on how stillbirths are recorded- and how these mothers are treated in the process- in the U.S. and have been successful in 27 states.”

Yet, the number of stillbirths can be slashed, say most experts. Besides lacking visibility, the issue of stillbirth has lacked leadership both locally and internationally. “The time has come for this public health problem to be recognized, explored, and eventually to reduce the numbers,” says Cacciatore, referencing her participation in the first of The Lancet articles entitled: Stillbirth: Why it matters. “This is a clarion call for attention to a much-underserved group.”

“Parental groups must join with professional organizations to bring a unified message on stillbirths to government agencies and the UN,” says J. Frederik Frøen, M.D., PhD, an epidemiologist at The Norwegian Institute of Public Health and member of the International Stillbirth Alliance. “This Series shows that the way to address the problem of stillbirth is to strengthen existing maternal, newborn, and child health programs by focusing on key interventions, which often overlap with those interventions that benefit mothers and neonates,” says Gary L. Darmstadt, M.D., Director, Family Health Division, Global Health Program, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. The WHO has worked in collaboration with worldwide stakeholders to develop the first comprehensive, global set of stillbirth data by region.

In The Lancet’s series on stillbirth, clinicians, researchers, and experts call for action to reach these goals by 2020:

· For those nations with a current rate of under 5 per 1,000, to eliminate all preventable stillbirths and close equity gaps;

· For countries with a stillbirth rate of more than 5 per 1,000 births, at least a 50 percent reduction from the current rate;

· The MISS Foundation, additionally, advocates for all 50 states to adopt their version of the Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth in addition to a death certificate, already passed in 27 states;

· The MISS Foundation also encourages systemic change in the societal perception of stillbirth, beginning with medical personnel, policy makers, mental health professionals, researchers, and feminist groups, and for comprehensive support services to women and their families suffering this traumatic loss.

For more information on the MISS Foundation visit www.missfoundation.org