The Firing

Caught between night and day

sun and moon

oceans and sky

caught between check in and departure

letters and language

conviction and contrition

In the liminal space of nothingness

is where grief lives

Until I give it language

welcome it into my space of somethingness

Form it, like soft, pallid clay,

between my fingers

and then fire it in a kiln

hot enough to turn flesh into ashes

and oxides strong enough

to shatter it when dropped

I hold it tightly

mix powdered paints with my tears

and I give it color

I do it in my time
And in my way
You do it in your time
And in your way

This is grief

~J. Cacciatore



A powerful piece of art...

Life before death is a sombre series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study.

The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living.

(Wo)Man's Search for Meaning: The Existential Crisis

"Science may have found a cure for most evils; 

but it has found no remedy 

for the worst of them all - 

the apathy of human beings."

Helen Keller 

I presented on traumatic loss at a community forum today.   We began to discuss the ways that the MISS Foundation helps families cope after the death of a child.  As I inevitably do, I reflected on the work of Viktor Frankl.  

It's difficult to discuss resiliency and meaning making in absentia Frankl.  His book Man's Search for Meaning has been a constant companion throughout my own grief experience, and I have both a home copy and office copy.  The pages are weary from too much handling, and the edges are tinged with age; still, this worn out book continues to teach me so much about transcending loss and seeing others' pain.

Frankl says that there exists three principal ways in which mankind can find meaning in life: by what we give to the world in terms of our creations;  by what we take from the world in terms of meaningful encounters with others; and finally from suffering. That is, the ways in which we confront a fate that we cannot change. 

Frankl's experiences during the Nazi regime helped provide the foundation for an innovative intervention in psychotherapy called logotherapy.  Logotherapy, like Adlerian psychology, asks the patient to, when ready, view their life in different ways, requiring personal responsibility for understanding and making meaning of loss. Frankl encourages sufferers to become seekers- seekers toward the will for meaning.

According to Frankl, existential distress is inevitable as part of the human condition. It is not neurosis or mental illness; rather it is an indication of our humanity and our desire to seek meaning. He believed that we each have free will to decide: What will I do? Will I suffer in isolation or will I invite connection to and compassion from others? Will I remain silent or will I use my voice to change the world? Will I be a seeker of truth or will I accept what is told to me? Will I use my grief to discover meaning or will I acquiesce to apathy? Will I succumb to the pain or will I decide seek the purposeful life?  Will this tragedy destroy me or will it help me to transcend my place in the world?

Those are, indeed, existential questions that warrant our seeking...