Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Until the Sun Itself Dies

13 years ago yesterday at 6:45 p.m., a young, frightened woman walked into my support group in Phoenix, Arizona. Her only son, Blake, just 17 months old, was killed by a woman who ran a red light. Katie almost died in the crash.

I can still remember the first time our eyes connected, and her pain seared into the marrow of my bones. Yet, even in that excruciating moment, so did the love.

Her pain was deep and unspeakable. Her love was deep and unspeakable.

The pain consumed every waking thought. So did the love.

I suppose today, and three beautiful rainbow children later, she might say that, now, the love is bigger than the pain- most days. Still, they are two sides of the same coin: love and pain. Life without Blake will never be as beautiful as if it would were he here. Of course.

And so yesterday, with a Kindness Project card in hand, Blake showed up in the world, in the realm of both the love and the pain, as the MISS Foundation community remembers him. And I will never forget.

This is for Katie and Blake and all the mothers and fathers and their children, gone far too soon.


Find out more about the Kindness Project, which began in 1996, and download free cards here. Share their love.


Kiri said...

I just found your blog and your kindness project. I lost my 6 year old daughter to cancer last year and recently started The Angel Zoe Kindness project to honour her. I guess many of us have the same urge to create something meaningful and positive our of our experiences.

Anonymous said...

Hello. My name is Darcy. I've stumbled onto your blog thru reading. Ronan's website over the years. Yours and Maya's are heartbreakingly beautiful to read. They show such strengths and positvity thru the most unimaginable situations. I feel guilty for expressing this, as I became a widow at 31 with 2 sons 4 and 1 623 days ago. I did not lose a child but he was my life partner, the love of my life, for all most 14 years, just shy of our 10 year anniversary, and my boys are now fatherless. There was no illness, no closure. He fell asleep and didn't wake up. I know I don't share your pain of losing a child but this quote you wrote describes my feelings perfectly. Thank you for your kind words. I'm so sorry that that unspeakable pain influenced you to write them so elequently.


The soul still sings in the darkness telling of the beauty she found there; and daring us not to think that because she passed through such tortures of anguish, doubt, dread, and horror, as has been said, she ran any the more danger of being lost in the night. Nay, in the darkness did she, rather, find herself.

--St. John, Dark Night of the Soul

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