Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Death Talk

Death Talk has been an amazing tool for grieving people. I knew people needed to learn things related to death, but I had no idea the response would be so positive. One woman emailed after the death of her father-in-law, asking that we continue the shows, and thanking us for changing her life.

This session was really interesting for me. One discussion centered on how to help grieving parents after a child's death.  For such a long time after Chey's death, I would get frustrated- even angry- over the cliches and platitudes people used to 'comfort' me.  

At some point, and I'm not sure when this transition occurred, I softened. I feel pity for those who don't get this. My inclination now is to think, "How sad that this person is missing so much meaning in life."  

I don't get angry anymore. I try to use the opportunity to gently educate others, hoping that by learning about death, their lives will be more full, and their hearts will swell with gratitude for what they have.  And slowly, people of all cultures and all languages and all socioeconomic classes and from all the regions in the world will understand...

Last month, Josh and I went spelunking around Flagstaff in the snow. We met some Buddhist monks on our journey there. I spoke to one about my work, and he said, "Death should not take children, but it sometimes does. And it is the most sad and the most tragic for people." 

That was all he said. And it was perfect.

Education is the most powerful weapon 
which you can use to change the world.  
~Nelson Mandela

Indeed, indeed.

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The soul still sings in the darkness telling of the beauty she found there; and daring us not to think that because she passed through such tortures of anguish, doubt, dread, and horror, as has been said, she ran any the more danger of being lost in the night. Nay, in the darkness did she, rather, find herself.

--St. John, Dark Night of the Soul

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